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Simple Thoughts On Being A Dad

While this post will not qualify as being the longest creation on the subject of being a dad, I believe it holds weight in the category of being important.

In actuality it came about as a result of my taking a look at a variety of the movies I was checking out from what I could call “the back office” of Simple Truths (yes, I am an affiliate in case you are wondering).  At any rate, I played the brief “movie” you will see below my quote, and it certainly grabbed my attention.  For me, it could be termed a “gripping” presentation.

So…

I decided to post it here.  The quote I created several years ago.  I believe it was around 2003 in fact.  Yes, I still feel the same. It is an incredible privilege and responsibility being a father as you can see from several of my other posts.  In fact, if you are in business of any sort and happen to be a dad, I would encourage you to click here to read my longer post on the subject of building your home while building your business.

If You Are A Dad, I Would Say… Definitely Watch This Movie!

“Bringing It Home” As They Say…

Reflecting on the brief presentation… powerful wouldn’t you say?  And with that in mind, we could ask or comment…

• How am I doing as a dad on the “time scale” of life with my family: should be, could be better or hardly ever?
• Realizing that I need to spend a great deal of time on other things, am making sure that I am sharing quality moments — moments where I am being careful to encourage, uplift, carefully listen, use what I would call “the ministry of touch,” and otherwise let the family know of my deep love and concern for them?

____________

© Lee Wise All rights reserved. You may freely distribute this inspirational note. The copyright and this resource box must be included.

Lee is a writer, Online Marketer and Life Coach. With a passion for on purpose living and making a positive impact in the world, he seeks to encourage people in their personal and professional lives. Love self growth and personal development?  See his Inspirational Handbook for Attraction Marketershere http://attractionmarketinghandbook.com

Feel stuck or like you need a boost anywhere in your life at this time? Seize a FREE 15 minute sessionwith Lee. Go here now  http://leewise.marketingmerge.com/coaching

________________________

Share Or Reply…

May these brief words of mine prove to be a blessing for you and those you love in one way or another.

Share your positive comments here or if you liked what you read, pass it on!

____________

And by the way… Do you Have A Blog And Love Hands On Tips? Here’s a cool resource:

Build A Better Blog In 31 Days

• 31 Tasks
• 31 Teachings
• Hands On
• Affordable
• Proven resource

Am I an affiliate? Absolutely!  It is a super resource in my opinion. Click here for details!

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9 Things That Matter With Our Kids

Winning At Home While We Work From Home

This will be a short, but very thoughtful post:

• Simple, yet far from simplistic.
• Meaningful, yet not way out of touch with reality.

Several Suggestions

• Take a quick read through the list.
• Pay attention to any immediate responses of any nature.
• Read through the list one more time.
• Pause longer any time your heart says “Pause.”  In other words, it’s your home we are talking about here and should your heart say, “Listen,” my personal suggestion would be to do just that.
• Think about any actions you may desire to initiate.
• Reflect on any attitudes or actions you may desire to modify or stop.

9 Things That Truly Matter As We Relate To Our Children

In my opinion, the following things matter: as in “really matter” while in the process of relating to our children.

I don’t want to win at designing and putting into practice a marketing funnel, attract hundreds of people to my downline as an attraction marketing guru, seeing hundreds of prospects respond to my business blogging efforts, and…

Lose at home.

• Not now.
• Not later.
• Not ever.

With those thoughts providing the backdrop for my post, I feel that these 9 things matter:

1. Enjoying childlike delights with our children before our children no longer delight in being just that: children!
2. Paying attention long enough to truly understand — yet caring enough to make any necessary corrections once all is truly understood.  (Or, reversed, caring enough not to make the expected correction!)
3. Responding to immaturity in a mature way instead of allowing immaturity to reign on both ends of the age scale: our child’s and ours.  (Example: while shopping at the grocery store this past week I witnessed an older man yelling — and I mean yelling — at a younger child and the lady who was with him.  Absolutely insane, immature behavior.)
4. Being silly when I can.
5. And being fun when its not cool to be silly!
6. Making (and taking) time to listen when it’s the child’s time and not just “my time” as a parent.
7. Being big enough to sincerely say, “I was wrong.”
8. Sensitive enough to ask, “Will you forgive me?”
9. And courageous enough to correct my ways in the process.

Time To Respond…

• Did any thoughts or ideas stand out?
• Did you take any time to pat yourself on the back?  i.e., when “slid by” one of the comments because you knew you were doing pretty good in that area… did you either reflect in gratefulness for that realization and even celebrate a bit?  You can, you know!
• Where did you catch any of those all important “heart pauses”? And, what do you feel we were the significance of those pauses? As I write this question, should you happen to be a faith based individual, the following brief prayer came to mind:

Father, may my heart sense

where Your heart is leading me at this time, during this day,

and may I follow that lead for all the right reasons: Your reasons.

PrayingSimple by © Lee Wise

• Caution: would you happen to be being a bit too harsh on yourself in reading through that list?  True, truth is truth, but so is balancing things in truth.  Of course we can be too soft with ourselves at times: all of us realize that fact.  In fact, the following could apply as well…
• Caution: would you happen to be responding a bit “less” than you should in any place?  In other words are the traffic signals working but the driver isn’t paying that much attention?  These last two “Cautions” are obviously meant to provide that word that often is difficult to obtain: “balance.”  (Have I figured that out? You know the answer!)

On Raising Children

May I win where it counts,

Lose where I should,

And possess the wisdom to know the difference.

© Lee Wise

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© Lee Wise All rights reserved. You may freely distribute this inspirational note. The copyright and this resource box must be included.

Lee is a writer, Online Marketer and Life Coach. With a passion for on purpose living and making a positive impact in the world, he seeks to encourage people in their personal and professional lives. Love self growth and personal development?  See his Inspirational Handbook for Attraction Marketers here http://attractionmarketinghandbook.com

Feel stuck or like you need a boost anywhere in your life at this time? Seize a FREE 15 minute session with Lee. Go here now  http://leewise.marketingmerge.com/coaching

________________________

Share Or Reply…

May these brief words of mine prove to be a blessing for you and those you love in one way or another.

Share your positive comments here or if you liked what you read, pass it on!

____________

And by the way… Do you Have A Blog And Love Hands On Tips? Here’s a cool resource:

Build A Better Blog In 31 Days

• 31 Tasks
• 31 Teachings
• Hands On
• Affordable
• Proven resource.

Click here to view more details.
(Am I an affiliate?  Of course.  And a customer to boot!)

____________________

21 Great Time Management Questions

• Interested in time management?
• Enjoy brief, positive and helpful tips?
• Tips delivered to your inbox each day?

Receive a 21 Day Impact Your Life In A Positive Way set of questions in an email series I developed. Simply send a blank email here –>mytimeismylife@aweber.com I will send you a confirmation email so be sure to watch for it and click the link: otherwise, you will not receive the series

Or, you can also click on this link.  It and it should open up in your email and you can send your request that way. Cool. mailto:mytimeismylife@aweber.com

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Letting The Business Go
In Order To Welcome The Family In…
5 Tips For Balancing Life In The “Heart Zone”

You purposed to place your family first, decided to slow things down in order to hear your heart speak, listened to your heart regarding the needed time with those you love, and even developed an affirmation to help you along the way.

Super!

In the last of this series, allow me to share with you what I am calling…

Five Tips For Balancing Life In The “Heart Zone.”

One Word Reminders

1. Analyze
2. Acknowledge.
3. Create.
4. Listen.
5. Bring In The Joy

Analyze Your Patterns

Essentially, this is the time honored process of playing “I Spy” on yourself.  Allowing your purpose to continually push you in the right direction, you choose to…

Take note of your responses as they concern the family.

• Internal responses.
• External responses.
• And how they tie into each other.

You choose to see…

• What’s going on,
• Why it’s going that way,
• And if a pattern does in fact exist.

On Fridays do you find it difficult to mentally take part in anything “family” because you already began the process of seeing what needs to be done on Monday?

And what about dinner?  Is dinner a mental extension of work or a welcome break?

Do you consistently find it difficult to pay engage in whole hearted listening because of where your mind really is?  If so, is there a pattern?  And if you find one, why is that so?

The point: if you located a “heart tension” on any level that needs to be addressed, you simply must be alert to any patterns going on — inside and out — that may be observed.

And once you notice the tension spots on the playing field of your life, you must…

Acknowledge Any Failure

While in the “acknowledge any failure mode,” the effects of your failure must be noted.

• Not pleasant.
• Certainly not easy to accept.
• But failure and its effects must be noted.

You know I strive for balance in these types of “discussions,” so please allow me to state the obvious.

Should you be given over to being too critical of yourself and exaggerating the effects, you need to tone it down!

However, should you be in the process of embracing “the accept no responsibility mode,” that must stop.

In other words, seek to avoid over reacting on either side of the proverbial fence.

Next…

Create New Habit Patterns

Two simple principles here:

1. Support, reinforce and celebrate the good discoveries you noted.
2. Begin changing the “bad” discoveries you observed.

Just in case you traversed through any of my previous writings, after reading my next basic point you could find yourself saying, “Yep, that’s Lee.”

And here is that point.  When you think about changing those habit patterns, strive to make your progress based on:

What is doable.

That is, doable within the framework of your own lifestyle, personality, the season of life you are in, and your own unique set of gifts, challenge areas, and abilities.

Set yourself up for: (1) success; and (2) encouragement.

And to assist you in the process…

Listen To Your Spouse

Listen to what a loving spouse says to you directly… and indirectly.

The direct approach takes little personal brilliance to comprehend: “Lee, you’re the father and the children need a father this weekend.”

That’s what I call one of those “Duh factors!”

The indirect approach can be a slight bit more problematic as you know.  I know of no other way than to…

Work at listening with your heart,
And observing with the same.

• Emotions.
• Moods.
• Speech patterns.
• Body language.
• The whole non-verbal communicational shot.

But do make a concentrated effort to listen!

One more suggestion…

“Bring In The Joy” For All It’s Worth

When you are successful in any way, take notes: good, quality, life enhancing personal victory notations.

• Seize those.
• Capture the moments.
• Put them inside of you somehow.

So that you can review them later.

And then review it later!

Smiles, voice tone, hugs, “I’m glad I did that” thoughts, conversations..

Anything.

Just take note, “absorb” what you can, and continue to do so for the purpose of reinforcing the chosen direction of your life.

That’s It!

I hope this brief series proves to be an encouragement to you and those you love in the days ahead. Haven’t read the other to?  No problem.  The first in the series is here, and second may be found here.

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© Lee Wise All rights reserved. You may freely distribute this inspirational note. The copyright and this resource box must be included.

Lee is a writer, online marketer and coach. With a passion for on purpose living and making a positive impact in the world, he seeks to encourage people in their personal and professional lives. See his Inspirational Handbook for Attraction Marketers here http://attractionmarketinghandbook.com

Interesting in exploring the possibility of working with Lee as a coach? Go here to check out his FREE 15 minute session and learn more.  http://marketingmerge.com/coaching

Digging Deeper

May these brief words of mine prove to be a blessing for you and those you love in one way or another.

Share your positive comments here or if you liked what you read, pass it on!

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Letting The Business Go
In Order To Welcome The Family In:
Speaking Of Purpose

Sitting next to a young professional at lunch you hear: “I know I need to be with my family — I mean to truly be with them — but I when I go out with them I struggle with ‘being there’ with them.  You know what I mean?”

And should I hear your honest reply, it may go something like this: “Yes.  I hear you.  I really hear you.”

The Tension Exists

Most any professional likely knows, feels and understands the internal pressures associated with:

The felt need “be there” in your heart when with loved ones — or scheduling to be with those you love;

And..

The felt need to “be there” in your heart in order to stay on top of your game in the professional world.

Honestly, I don’t know that I’ve ever met one person who handles these two pressures in a way that I would say about them “He or she has this down cold. Nailed it.  No problems for them.”

Certainly I can’t say that I do…but I can say that over years I hope those closest to my heart would at least give me a passing grade in that area of life.

Not perfect.

And certainly less than some “out there” (wherever “out there” might be.)

But at least passing.

With the disclaimer in its proper place, please allow me to share with several suggestions as they concern this very important arena of life.

This will be the first in a brief series, and I choose to begin here:

Make It Your Purpose

Let me ask you a question:

Do you love your family enough to make it your purpose to give them a good, solid place in your heart when compared to being a success in your business?

I assumed your answered “Yes.”

If not, then, just stop reading this article and go on to something else.

Seriously.

I say this because in my way of thinking your internal purpose will determine who wins the most number of matches in any playoff season.

Somewhere,

In some way,

You must release the one,

In order to give your heart to the other.

Call it being “in the flow,” “in the moment,” “fully present,” or by any other name you may think of…

When the game begins you must work at being there in your heart for your loved ones because you’ve chosen to do so as a priority in your life.

Purpose defines so many of the actions in our lives.

Please allow me to repeat something I stated just seconds ago:

Somewhere,

In some way,

You must release the one,

In order to give your heart to the other.

“Insights”

While at my daughter’s band concert, I begin the internal “rush” to solve the next issue relative to my professional development.

The “professional heart” just came in and my “dad heart” took the exit door located inside of my thought life.

My point: the whole matter centers around the heart and my purpose as to where I choose it to be at the moment.

My heart.

My purpose.

Two very, very critical words.

Balance

No, I do not even pretend to be one of those who would say in my example above that your mind cannot drift while at a band concert.

But should it drift far enough away that my daughter’s heart caught that my heart was not:

Looking at,

Listening to,

And affirming her as a person…

Then I lost that game.

Lose too many of those games and, well, you know the result.

One Simple Question

I am not “boat load of guilt” person.  In other words, laying tons of guilt on someone to bring about a supposedly great result.  As a person I am not there.  As a life coach I am not there.

The tensions regarding the various battles of our hearts remain constant and no one pat answer solves anything.

Therefore, from that perspective — realizing the many shades of life we find ourselves in at any one moment of our lives — allow me to ask the obvious:

Have you made it a heart issue to make your loved ones one of the highest purposes of your life?

If so, super.

Your heart will then lead you to any other questions.

And if not — if you can’t answer that way and for some reason you did not stop at the beginning of this article — I at least would hope that you will be able to at some point in time in your life.

____________

© Lee Wise All rights reserved. You may freely distribute this inspirational note. The copyright and this resource box must be included.

Lee is a writer, online marketer and coach.  With a passion for on purpose living and making a positive impact in the world, he seeks to encourage people in their personal and professional lives. See his Inspirational Handbook for Attraction Marketers here http://attractionmarketinghandbook.com

Interesting in the possibility of working with Lee as a coach? Go here to check out his FREE 15 minute session and to learn more: http://marketingmerge.com/coaching

Digging Deeper

I sure hope these brief words of mine prove to be a blessing for you in some manner or another.

Share your positive comments here or if you liked what you read, pass it on!

____________

And by the way… Do you Have A Blog And Love Hands On Tips? Here’s a cool resource:

Build A Better Blog In 31 Days

• 31 Tasks
• 31 Teachings
• Hands On
• Affordable
• Proven resource.

Click here to view more details.
(Am I an affiliate?  Of course.  And a customer to boot!)

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Men: Reflect On What You Are About To Read

• Am I striving to be the best I can as an “attraction marketer“? Absolutely.
• Do I desire to accomplish my business goals for the purpose of enhancing my life and the lives of those I influence in a positive manner?  Absolutely.

However…

Even though I am sixty-four and the children do not live in my home, I do know one thing for sure: I never want to hear anything like this…

“Well, pops, I’m glad you ‘made it’ as a business person during this transition period of your life where you went from being in ministry in the educational realm to being a successful online marketer.  I’m glad for you.  But somewhere along the line your attraction for us kids dropped off — way off — and we took second place to you as a dad.”

I don’t know you, you aspirations or your drives and how they are being handled at this stage of your life: and I certainly don’t have to.

But one thing for sure: I do know that if you are a dad now or planning on being one, I would encourage you to thoughtfully read the article below.

It may be far from the best you may ever read, but I simply don’t care.  What matters to me is that you sense the heartbeat of the article, apply it to you in a positive manner at this stage of your, and use it as a motivation to keep on trying to be the best dad (or grandfather) you can while in the process of building the best possible business you can.

“Attraction Marketing Excellence:
On Being A Sensitive Dad”
© Lee Wise All rights reserved

A View From The Men’s Room

I could hardly believe what I was hearing. A father and his son had entered the men’s room. While I was washing my hands, I listened as the father wielded a series of demanding and demeaning statements at his son as if they were swords in a battle for … who knows what?

And all about going to the bathroom quickly!

It was the perfect victory.

• The enemy (the son) had been slain.
• The battle was won.
• The general had summoned his one-man army to do his bidding.

It was also totally and completely ridiculous. There was no consideration for the feelings or physical needs of the young person.

The “bad boy” had won the day — and the bad boy was not the son.

It was the son’s insensitive dad.

I Felt Sad And Angry

This incident occurred while on vacation. I loved vacation except for one aspect: watching fathers deal with their children.

I was sad.
And I was angry.

The “interesting” thing was that when I related this observation to my daughter and son-in-law, they proceeded to share with me their same discouragement while they were on a recent trip to a theme park.

Their message was the same:

“We had a great time. The only discouraging thing was seeing dads with their children.”

I Agree: It Is Far From Easy

I am a father and I would be among the first to declare that raising children is not an easy task.

Parts of it are rough. Real rough.

I would also be quick to admit the times I have failed as a father.  How could I not? I may have a few answers but that doesn’t mean I’ve lived them all..

• All time
• In all of the best possible ways.

But I do hope that no one has ever said this about me after observing my relationship with any of my children or grand children:

“We saw the most discouraging thing today. This guy was a jerk. The way he treated those kids was awful.  No respect. No honor. Only demands and unrealistic expectations. I tell ya, it was sad.”

There Is A Better Way… And As Dads We All Know It

Let me be quick to add…

All is not bad.

I have seen many loving, caring fathers throughout the years. I love watching those types of dads relate to their children. It is one of my personal delights in life

With that in mind, I am offering a few simple suggestions for a better way: a better way for fathers to relate to their children than the two negative examples I have shared with you.

I Will Center On Five Themes

1. Consideration

2. Respect

3. Humility

4. Compassion

5. Love

Two comments as I transition into my suggestions:

• You will quickly discover that this will not be a long and drawn out discussion of these themes. Enjoy.
• Many of the points will be shared through using simple “affirmations” — or descriptive comments if you please.

These affirmations will help you personalize what is said.

So…

We have discussed a few of the “bad boy” characteristics.

Let’s turn our attention to five characteristics of the “good boys.” That is, men who are determined *not* to be thought of as “one of those insensitive dads.”

Consideration

Consideration says…

“I adjust my expectations according to the needs, maturity level and emotional capabilities of the child I am relating to at the moment.”

Because of the important aspects of the statement you just read, I’m going to repeat it and break it down for you.

That’s my part.

Yours will be to reflect on each aspect as you read it one more time. Reflect on it through the lens of how you would have liked to be treated as a young-person-in-the-making. (The extra spaces are there by design to prompt reflection).

“I adjust

My expectations

According to

The needs,

Maturity level

And emotional capabilities

Of the child

I am relating to

At the moment.”

Respect

Respect says…

“I see this person entrusted to my care as one who is worthy of my honor, approval and love.”

This mental stance provides for me a frame. A frame I wrap around my child *to begin with.* The child is worthy of my honor, approval and love — from the beginning.

It is a part of the package each child should *sense* in me from “Day One” so-to-speak.

Humility

Humility says…

• “Because I am still learning, I give my child space and time to learn.”
• “Because I still fail, I forgive and support my child when he or she fails.”
• “Because I respond poorly when people are angry with me for reasons I do not understand, I resist all uncontrolled and self-centered anger when dealing with my child.”

Compassion

Compassion says…

• “I am a ’show and tell’ person. I show my child I care. I tell my child I care.”
• “I strive to be gentle, not harsh.”
• “I care and my child senses it.”

Love

Love says… all of the above.

A DISCLAIMER

Let me make something perfectly clear: children can — and do — hurt their parents: good parents.

Parents who in a very real sense lay down their lives for their kids and still get kicked in the guts while trying to help their children be happy and succeed in life.

These parents know a special kind of pain. A pain that no one really wants to understand. I salute those parents.

You may be one of them.

So my disclaimer is..

• I realize this is a two-sided fence
• My purpose is not to add guilt to a conscience already plagued by the “Why’s” of their child’s bad attitudes and behavior — in spite of hundreds of hours of trying to do what’s right.

Rather, if you happen to be one of those parents — and especially a dad since that is the topic of these comments — I want you to hear these words:

“I thank you for trying.”

I thank you for trying and for the lonely hours you have spent that only you, and possibly your spouse — and God — knows about…

The tears. The heartache and the pain that goes on and on as each new report surfaces about some action or attitude your child has displayed.

For those times, tears and heartache — I reflect to you my appreciation.

And I’m sure I represent only one of many voices that would echo the same to you if they could.

Therefore, review these comments and take note of each positive thing you have done.

• Take note.
• And take a bow.
• You deserve it.
• And we applaud you.

Yours for living a courageously beautiful life,

Lee

____________________________________
© Lee Wise All All rights reserved. You may freely distribute this inspirational article. The copyright and this resource box must be included.

Lee is a writer an online marketer. With a passion for on purpose living and making a positive impact in the world, he seeks to encourage people in their personal and professional lives. http://attractionmarketingexcellence.com/blog

Subscribe to Lee’s ezine A Beautiful Moment In Time by sending a blank email to: beautifulmoment@aweber.com Remember to confirm your request!

________________________________

And Now That You Have Read And Reflected On A Few Things…

• Continue… either now or later.
• Reflect.
• Journal.
• Pray
• Act.

Like It? Then Share It!

Be a blessing and share it. Twitter, Facebook, send it… whatever.  I would appreciate it. And just maybe — just maybe — several sons or daughters may as well!

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